Proof That Relationships Matter

Colleagues,
 
In Friday’s email I shared that it was my 32nd wedding anniversary. I received more reactions to that single bit of personal information than I usually get in any two-week period! 
 
Why?
 
Relationships matter. When we share and acknowledge things about our personal lives, we help weave a collaborative fabric of community, and this fabric contributes to individual and organizational health.
 
People leave organizations all the time, but they rarely leave families. Talk to 100 people and a few of them will talk about their colleagues as family. Those people like their jobs, stay longer, and perform better.
 
In 2004 I completed my dissertation research and found that teachers in a school valued three things from their principal:

• Support for creativity and risk taking
• Valuing teachers’ professional performance and achievements
• Caring about teachers as people

Interestingly, teachers prioritized these things differently. For today, let’s look at three ways to address the third bullet point:

• Be fully present. Don’t multi-task, turn off your phone and notifications, look at the person, and if you can’t do those things say to them, “Can we schedule another time to talk? You deserve my full attention and I can’t give you that right now.”
• Put people first by asking how people are before you begin the business. Ask and mean it, and if they give the perfunctory “I’m fine” ask again, “No, really, how are you?”
• Be vulnerable and share something personal. You don’t need to be an open book but sharing a celebration or struggle every now and then will help people connect with a different part of you.

If you'd like to connect more deeply with me, I'd love to hear from you. You can share something about yourself by emailing me here.

Thanks for the anniversary best wishes and the tomato recipes!
 
Do good and be well.

​Frederick