Colleagues,
My purpose in this week’s emails has been two-fold:
Lesson 5 from Thanksgiving with a fractured family: We can accept that we do not control how others see their world. Or we can keep fighting. When I talk politics with people who don’t mirror my beliefs, I only do so in the hopes of growing my own understanding of where our common ground is. I will never be able to “convince” someone to see things my way. At the very best, I can help them respect me and understand why I have the views I have. The first step to gaining that respect is to give it by seeking understanding. Caution: do not expect others to want to understand your views and do not seek to understand in hopes that it will be reciprocated. Seek to understand because that understanding will make you a better person. I don’t remember having done a week of emails quite like this one’s. I don’t know if these have been helpful or not. If you feel strongly either way, I would appreciate hearing from you. I can serve you better when I know what has worked. Like way too many families in the United States, mine has been fractured by politics and disagreement. At the same time, we have been reminded by loss and grief how important family is. As members of my extended family sought to find common ground or at least to move forward in a constructive way, I was reminded of five important lessons this week. I hope these lessons find meaning in both your personal and professional lives. Today’s intention: Reflect on the week and think about how you can use what you’ve read as the holiday season continues to bring us into proximity of those we love but who we may not agree with. Cheers! Frederick
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Colleagues,
Lesson 4 from Thanksgiving with a fractured family: Again, we choose. We choose to give grace, or to hold tightly onto our pain. It’s easier to give grace when we understand it is not about us. When I give grace, I choose to move forward. I choose to flow like water around the injury. And remember, grace is not earned, it is given. In fact, grace is most powerful when it is given freely and without conditions. Like way too many families in the United States, mine has been fractured by politics and disagreement. At the same time, we have been reminded by loss and grief how important family is. As members of my extended family sought to find common ground or at least to move forward in a constructive way, I was reminded of five important lessons this week. I hope these lessons find meaning in both your personal and professional lives. Today’s intention: Here’s the secret – giving grace to others does more good for you than for the person who receives it. 😉 Cheers! Frederick Colleagues,
Lesson 3 from Thanksgiving with a fractured family: We choose to make it about us or to see a bigger picture. One of the first lessons I teach beginning teachers is that student behavior is rarely about the teacher. How we behave says more about us than the people we are with. We live in a world where companies have gotten very good at capturing and holding our attention by pushing us to experience anger. We live in a world where political “leaders” have gotten very good at influencing our actions by pushing us to experience anger. With an unwholesome dose of fear added. Inevitably, the anger and fear people are experiencing is turned on others, on you. But that anger and fear is not about you! This matters, because when you accept it isn’t about you, the pain and resentment lessen. Letting go of those negatives allows us to be better at carrying out the previous lessons. When we know it isn’t about us, it is easier to choose to show up as our best selves. It is easier to be like water. Like way too many families in the United States, mine has been fractured by politics and disagreement. At the same time, we have been reminded by loss and grief how important family is. As members of my extended family sought to find common ground or at least to move forward in a constructive way, I was reminded of five important lessons this week. I hope these lessons find meaning in both your personal and professional lives. Today’s intention: Think about situations or relationships where anger and fear are present. Can you work to let it go of the negatives, even just a little bit? Cheers! Frederick Colleagues, Lesson 2 from Thanksgiving with a fractured family: We choose to be like stone or water. Stones are impermeable. They are great for creating foundations, but if you are building a wall between you and your family, that is not a great thing. Water flows. It is resistant to being blocked. It does not fight or argue, or contend. It simply ignores and goes around. Many people, at home and at work, will put up barriers. Beating on barriers is seldom effective. Bypassing them works much better.
Today’s intention: Just watch people. Look for evidence of stones, and of water. Reflect on what you see.
Photo by Shojol Islam: https://www.pexels.com/photo/rock-in-a-sea-19038953/ Cheers! Frederick Colleagues,
Like way too many families in the United States, mine has been fractured by politics and disagreement. At the same time, loss and grief have reminded us how important family is. As members of my extended family sought to find common ground or at least to move forward in a constructive way, I was reminded of five important lessons this week. I hope these lessons find meaning in both your personal and professional lives. Lesson 1: We choose how we show up. Every day, every interaction, we choose what we bring to the table. We can choose to bring our anger, our hurt, our frustration. Or we can bring our grace, our empathy, and our love. The really cool thing is that how I choose to show up is not controlled by the other person. Another’s anger, hurt, and frustration does not prevent me from being graceful, empathetic, and loving. Today’s intention: Be mindful of how you show up for others. Be mindful of the people who make it hard for you to show up as your best self. And then remember, they do not control you. Cheers! Frederick |
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