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Colleagues,
MVP: I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time I don’t remember who I learned this from or when I first heard this phrase but learning this lesson has helped me be much kinder to myself and more forgiving of others. People don’t intentionally do stupid things or make bad decisions, yet all of us do stupid things and make bad decisions. Why? Of course, there are lots of factors, including emotional and psychological ones, but in the end, we do our best with the information that we have. Consequences and retrospection are great teachers for the future but are poor friends to the present. When you screw up (and you will), learn and move on. You didn’t try to mess up. You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. This makes enacting lesson 13 (treat yourself as you would a child) a whole lot easier! Todays intention: Reprocess an old failure – a time you really messed up. Of course, you would do it differently today, but what was the information you were acting on? Were you trying to make the best decision given who you were and what you knew at that time? Our annual summer tradition is to share the most important things I’ve learned from other people throughout the month of July. This summer we have 20 lessons. You will receive one a day until we are done. If you feel particularly moved and want to share a reaction, please reply! Cheers! Frederick
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Colleagues,
MVP: Every day we do our best and somedays our best is better than others This is another one that fits into the “be kind to others and yourself” category. I heard an interviewer talking about an interview he did with BB King in which King said something like this: “Every day I do what I’m best at, and every day I do my best. Some days my best is better than others.” Wow. Todays intention: Just sit with this one. Embrace it. Be kind to yourself and graceful to others. We are all doing the best we can. Our annual summer tradition is to share the most important things I’ve learned from other people throughout the month of July. This summer we have 20 lessons. You will receive one a day until we are done. If you feel particularly moved and want to share a reaction, please reply! Cheers! Frederick Colleagues, MVP: Treat yourself as you would a child I hope this one doesn’t apply to you, but it probably does. Throughout my life, nobody has been meaner or treated me more brutally than myself. It is so sad, the names I have called myself because I missed a deadline, or said something foolish, or… messed up an omelet (also see number 6 about the arrogance of perfection). If this sounds like you, then consider this – how would you treat a child who made that same mistake? Put a picture of you as a child on your desk or anywhere that you’ll see it (mine is the home screen of my phone). Before you begin running yourself into the ground, look at that picture and think about what you would say to that child. You would likely try and find a lesson if there was one, give them a hug, and help them clean up the mess. Why not treat your adult self the same way? Todays intention: Seriously! Find that childhood picture and keep it close to you. Our annual summer tradition is to share the most important things I’ve learned from other people throughout the month of July. This summer we have 20 lessons. You will receive one a day until we are done. If you feel particularly moved and want to share a reaction, please reply! Cheers! Frederick  Colleagues,
MVP: If you don’t feel imposter syndrome, then you aren’t pushing your edge Imposter syndrome is that voice inside your head that is telling you that you can’t do it, that it’s not that good, that you are pretending. It is a terrible voice that seeks to undermine your confidence by convincing you that you don’t belong. Seth Godin flipped this feeling for me when he said that imposter syndrome just means that you are working at the edge of your abilities – that you are taking risks and pushing yourself to be great. This has been a game-changer for me. When my nasty little Fred voice begins whispering in my ear, “you can’t do that” I smile and welcome that voice because it means that I am pushing my edge, that I am growing, and that I am being fearless. For more on imposter syndrome, listen to my incredible interview with Tequilla Lamar here. It will make you smile – guaranteed! Todays intention: Celebrate imposter syndrome! Our annual summer tradition is to share the most important things I’ve learned from other people throughout the month of July. This summer we have 20 lessons. You will receive one a day until we are done. If you feel particularly moved and want to share a reaction, please reply! Cheers! Frederick Colleagues,
This week we focus on treating ourselves better. MVP: I control my attitude Thirty years ago, this would have been my number one. For the past ten years it hasn’t even been on my list. Now it’s back. Why? Let’s be honest, the last few years have been a train wreck. With a pandemic, war, angry politics, a drug epidemic, climate change, etc… it doesn’t look like it is going to get any easier. For the past two years I have privately been enduring bouts of mild depression. In those times I struggle to be as productive as I think I should be. It becomes hard to make the best choices, to care for myself, to maintain self-discipline. The one thing I do manage to do consistently is to control my own attitude. Paraphrasing Craig Martin (whose great podcast interview is here), we choose how we show up for others. It is the simplest choice where we have the most control. The simple truth is that of 1000 people, 999 of them are good people. Flawed, lost, angry, in pain, but still, good people. I can choose to hold onto that and let it feed me. I can choose to embrace the fact that I control my attitude and that I can choose to be a lighthouse – a person who makes those 999 people feel and be better. And along the way, in serving others, I will be happier too. Todays intention: Monitor closely how you show up for others. Our annual summer tradition is to share the most important things I’ve learned from other people throughout the month of July. This summer we have 20 lessons. You will receive one a day until we are done. If you feel particularly moved and want to share a reaction, please reply! Cheers! Frederick |
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