Colleagues,
 
Today we complete the series on the fifteen most important things I have learned from others.

This is another one that fits into the “be kind to others and yourself” category. I heard an interviewer talking about an interview he did with BB King in which King said something like this: “Every day I do what I’m best at, and every day I do my best. Some days my best is better than others.”
 
Wow.
 
If you’ve enjoyed this series, you may want to download the entire set in one 4-page document from my website. Click here for the download. 

Do good and be well,

​Frederick

Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the fifteen most important things I have learned from others.

My mentor and good friend Dr. Jacque Jacobs helped me to understand that once decisions had been made, lamenting over them was counterproductive. There will always be things that happen that we don’t like or don’t agree with, but to move forward we must focus on the current reality and accept the past. 
 
If the train has left the station, it is time to look at alternative means of transport. Criticizing the engineer serves no purpose.

Do good and be well,

​Frederick

Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the fifteen most important things I have learned from others.

I don’t remember who I learned this from or when I first heard this phrase but learning this lesson has helped me be much kinder to myself and more forgiving of others.
 
People don’t intentionally do stupid things or make bad decisions, yet all of us do stupid things and make bad decisions. 
 
Why?
 
Of course, there are many factors, including emotional and psychological ones, but in the end we do our best with the information that we have available to us. Consequence and retrospect are great teachers for the future but are poor friends to the past.
 
When you screw up (and you will), learn and move on. You didn’t try to mess up. You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. This makes enacting lesson 9 (treat yourself as you would a child) a whole lot easier!

Do good and be well,

Frederick

Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the fifteen most important things I have learned from others.
 
I used to try and help people by getting them to think like me. Why? I guess I thought I had all the answers. The problem with this form of “caring” is that my agenda drove the interactions and I only created space for people to grow in the direction I wanted them to grow in. In the spring of 2004, I read Milton Myeroff’s essay On Caring and it changed my leadership forever.
 
Myeroff stated that if I really cared about someone, then I would take the time to know and understand them and support them in the direction they determined they needed to go. This was a profound shift. My actions became more about the other person and less about me.
 
Do good and be well,

Frederick

Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the fifteen most important things I have learned from others.
 
In 1985 I was a football graduate assistant for The Ohio State University. I worked with our recruiting coordinator Bob McNea. In my 22-year old mind Coach McNea seemed to be about 112 years old. Each day we would come back from lunch and he would pull out his big ring of keys, search for the right one, and then attempt to gain entry into our office. I say attempt because the lock was finicky, and the key had to be jiggled just so.
 
One day, in my exuberance, I became impatient and grabbed the keys from his hands. “Here Coach, I’ll do it.” Because, of course, this young man could do it better (faster) than the old one standing next to me.
 
Coach looked at me, and in a firm but kind voice said, “Fred, how are you ever going to be a good teacher if you don’t have patience?”
 
I can still hear him clear as day.
 
Great teachers have great patience. Why?
 
Patience creates space… a safe space.
 
It is in that safe space that people can take the time and the risks that will help them grow.
 
Strategic leaders prioritize growing people, and so strategic leaders must be patient teachers.
 
Coach McNea passed away in 2010, and I regret never having told him how much of an impact he had on me. Consider taking a few minutes today to reach out to someone who you want to acknowledge – before it is too late.

Do good and be well,

​Frederick