​Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the twenty most important things I have learned from others.
 
Focus on A-B
 
My mind always goes to the big idea. There is good in that, but usually it is better to focus on the next step. Stay focused, be simple, and just get better incrementally. Being a bit better today than yesterday is enough. Any small improvement today is more valuable than a big change months from now.
 
I should confess, of all the wisdom this month, this is consistently the hardest one for me to follow. I love big ideas and grand plans, but they only work when we can break them down into A-B steps. 

I’ll be away from email for a while, but please feel free to respond to this series and I will get back to you after my return.
 
Do good and be well,
 
Frederick

Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the twenty most important things I have learned from others.
 
Every day we do our best and somedays our best is better than others
 
This is another one that fits into the “be kind to others and yourself” category. I heard an interviewer talking about an interview he did with BB King in which King said something like this: “Every day I do what I’m best at, and every day I do my best. Some days my best is better than others.”
 
Wow.
 
I’ll be away from email for a while, but please feel free to respond to this series and I will get back to you after my return.
 
Do good and be well,
 
Frederick

​Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the twenty most important things I have learned from others.

I made the best decision I could with the information I had at the time

I don’t remember who I learned this from or when I first heard this phrase but learning this lesson has helped me be much kinder to myself and more forgiving of others.
 
People don’t intentionally do stupid things or make bad decisions, yet all of us do stupid things and make bad decisions. 
 
Why?
 
Of course, there are lots of factors, including emotional and psychological ones, but in the end, we do our best with the information that we have. Consequences and retrospection are great teachers for the future but are poor friends to the present.
 
When you screw up (and you will), learn and move on. You didn’t try to mess up. You made the best decision you could with the information you had at the time. This makes enacting lesson 9 (treat yourself as you would a child) a whole lot easier!

I’ll be away from email for a while, but please feel free to respond to this series and I will get back to you after my return.
 
Do good and be well,
 
Frederick​

Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the twenty most important things I have learned from others.

True caring is about you, not me

I used to try and help people by getting them to think like me. Why? I guess I thought I had all the answers. The problem with this form of “caring” is that my agenda drove the interactions and I only created space for people to grow in the direction I wanted them to grow. In the spring of 2004, I read Milton Myeroff’s short book On Caring and it changed my leadership forever.
 
Myeroff stated that if I really cared about someone, then I would take the time to know and understand them and support them in the direction they determined they needed to go. This was a profound shift. My actions became more about the other person, and less about me. Leading is not taking people in a direction, it is providing the support to help them grow in the direction that they need.

I’ll be away from email for a while, but please feel free to respond to this series and I will get back to you after my return.
 
Do good and be well,
 
Frederick​

Colleagues,
 
Today we continue the series on the twenty most important things I have learned from others.

Good leaders are patient

In 1985 I was a football graduate assistant for The Ohio State University. I worked with our recruiting coordinator Bob McNea. In my 22-year-old mind Coach McNea seemed to be about 112 years old. Each day we would come back from lunch and he would pull out his big ring of keys, search for the right one, and then attempt to gain entry into our office. I say attempt because the lock was finicky, and the key had to be jiggled just so.
 
One day, in my exuberance, I became impatient and took the keys from his hands. “Here Coach, I’ll do it.” Because, of course, this young man could do it better (faster) than the old one standing next to me.
 
Coach looked at me, and in a firm but kind voice said, “Frederick, how are you ever going to be a good teacher if you don’t have patience?”
 
I can still hear him.
 
Great teachers have great patience. Why?
 
Patience creates space… a safe space.
 
It is in that safe space that people can take the time and the risks that will help them grow.
 
Strategic leaders prioritize growing people, and so strategic leaders must be patient teachers.
 
Coach McNea passed away in 2010, and I regret never having told him how much of an impact he had on me. Consider taking a few minutes today to reach out to someone who you want to acknowledge – before it is too late.

I’ll be away from email for a while, but please feel free to respond to this series and I will get back to you after my return.
 
Do good and be well,
 
Frederick​