Colleagues,

I realize this week’s emails have had significant emotional intensity. That is a reflection of my experiences last week and a good lesson within itself: as leaders, we manifest our thoughts and feeling into actions, whether we realize it or not.
 
I will try and lighten up next week, but not today.
 
After you die, what do you want people to say about you?
 
Seriously. Think…
 
…
 
…
 
My cousin attended a memorial service for a beloved member of his community – one of those rare individuals who had an incredible impact on so many people’s lives. 
 
What did people say about him?
 
Person after person talked about how when they were with this person, he made them feel like the most important person in the world.
 
I can’t say that being fully present with others is enough, but it is the foundation for everything else.
 
Don’t make leadership harder than it is. Be present. Listen. Be human.
 
Reflect:

• Have you been as present as you would like?
• What are the barriers to presence?
• Who in your life can help you be more present?

 
Have a great weekend!
 
Cheers!
 
Frederick

Colleagues,
 
Tuesday’s email on presence brought an incredibly thoughtful response from a valued reader in which she shared, “My mother required my attention and I am fortunate that the timing came when I wasn't at work and was able to realize the need to attend to her. But I can't help but think, has she been needing my attention all along and I was not fully present during our daily conversations.” 
 
Four things:

• Leadership is the act of being human and of caring for others. The same skills that help us be good leaders help us to be good caretakers and better human beings.
• We miss so many opportunities to be present with people and it isn’t because we are too busy. It is because we are too distracted.
• We do the best we can each day. By being intentional, we can be a little bit better on most days.
• You should try really hard to be present all the time, but you should also be kind and gentle to yourself when you mess it up.

 
And then there is this: In reflecting and sharing her story, this reader was fully present with both herself and with me. Her email to me made me feel important and special. Coincidentally, it came on a morning where I was struggling and has changed my whole attitude.
 
Presence – what a beautiful gift.
 
Cheers!
 
Frederick

Colleagues,

Yesterday I challenged you:
 
“Today, with at least three different people, use your presence and body language to convince them, while you are with them, that they are the single most important person in the world.”
 
If you took up this challenge, you may stop reading right now. Consider hitting this link to tell me how it felt.
 
If you didn’t take up the challenge, then why? 
 
Maybe you weren’t around anyone yesterday, in which case you get a pass.
 
If you were with people yesterday and you weren’t fully present with them, then why? I can think of three reasons:

1. You don’t think presence is that big a deal.
2. You were “too busy” and in a hurry.
3. You forgot to try and were being task focused.

 
Friday’s email will tackle number one.
 
Being too busy is an excuse. If you are with someone, then you might as well be fully present because:

• It is almost impossible to engage in two conversations at once (one with the person and one with yourself) and to have anything meaningful come of it. In trying to multi-task you actually accomplished less and wasted your time.
• If you are focusing hard on something else (how to respond to a difficult email) while you are with the person then you are damaging the relationship and undermining your own credibility as a leader.

 
Forgetting is the reality we live in. How can you do better at remembering?

• Make “presence” your one word for the next month
• Read my daily emails – seriously, they will help you to be intentional
• Put up this physical reminder somewhere 

 
Cheers!
 
Frederick

Colleagues,
 
Like you, I have many different projects going on. I have many different people to serve.
 
Last week, most of my work came to a grinding halt as I was with Pam and my brothers and sisters-in-law helping my father-in-law, Tom, cull a lifetime of things from his house. You may remember that my mother-in-law, a remarkable woman, passed away in October, 2020. This past week we all helped Tom sort through her things.
 
I had not prepared myself for the emotional intensity of this process and found myself incapable of doing the business things I had planned to do.
 
Instead, I focused on being fully present for my family. 
 
As difficult a time as it was, it was also beautiful and has brought us all closer together.
 
You see, everyone else was also fully present.
 
Takeaways:

• We all have a limited capacity for work and sometimes that capacity is consumed by things outside of work. This is called life and it is okay.
• THE most powerful thing we can do for others is to be fully present!

 
We’ll talk more about presence tomorrow, but maybe today, force yourself to slow down.
 
Here’s a challenge for you: today, with at least three different people, use your presence and body language to convince them, while you are with them, that they are the single most important person in the world.
 
Just try.
 
Then let me know what happened.
 
Cheers,
 
Frederick

Colleagues,
 
I was trying to write a different email for today, but I am using a different computer and had some issues:

• My documents weren’t synced onto this computer so I had to get onto the internet and download my template
• The program that the template used wanted me to login
• The login password was on another document that used the same application
• I tried another program and it wanted me to update

 
I don’t have a lot of time and I just need to get this done!
 
Now I am typing on Text Edit, the simplest most basic word processing application available.
 
Elegant solutions are valuable. Being able to click once on an icon in my document and begin typing is awesome.
 
But when systems break down, we are faced with a critical decision: Rebuild and try to fix the system, or use an MVP (minimally viable process). 
 
The answer will vary based on the context, but take a minute to think about your systems:

• Are there things that simply aren’t working?
• In the present moment, is it worth trying to fix them?
• Is there a simple stop-gap process you can use?

 
Cheers! 

​Frederick